Defiant Hope

Why are you in despair, O my soul?
And why have you become disturbed within me?
Hope in God, for I shall again praise Him

Psalm 42:5

Hope. Four little letters, so loaded and so powerful. Able to lift up and able to destroy. We hope, holding to what might be in the face of what is. When the circumstances of life speak of deserts and granite and dried, desiccated river beds, hope sends forth flowers. Flowers that nourish bees and draw water from rocks and prove life continues in spite of everything.

Hopes are dashed with alarming regularity. Hope delayed makes the heart sick. 

And yet.

Life springs forth in deserts.

Hope is an act of defiance. It is an act of protest and a declaration that even when all is lost, there is something to hold to.

Hope hurts a lot right now. Jobs and homes and relationships have proved temporary and unstable. Opportunities vanish before we can grasp them. We've lived in this place of transition and limbo to the point of utter exhaustion.

And yet.

And yet we hope, in defiance of what is. We live and love and try again. And again. We engage in  defiant acts of hope. We risk another no. Risk more let downs and disappointments and kicks in the teeth. We hope in spite of everything.

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What I'm listening to: Looking For A Savior by United Pursuit

I can’t pretend to know
the beginning from the end
But there’s beauty in the life that's given

I've listened to the title track on repeat over the last week. Music has the power to remind us we're not alone and Will Reagan's lyrics often put my feelings into words in powerful ways.

What I'm reading: Sacred Pathways by Gary Thomas

"Jesus accepted the worship of Peter’s mother-in-law as she served him, but he refused to force Mary, the sister of Martha, to also worship in that way."

 This has been on my list for a long time and I recently tracked it down on Hoopla. It's helped me understand how I connect with God and become more deliberate in how I focus my time.

What I'm watching: Warm Bodies

"Julie and I were giving the others hope, and it was spreading fast."

Hopeful zombie stories are one of my favorite genres. So they might be a little gruesome, but dead things come to life. Hearts beat again. Sometime I need that reminder.